Pregnant at 40, so what? Alexandra shares her pregnancy story, far from the clichés

Alexandra Remise has created a universe that is instantly recognizable. An artistic director, inveterate flea market hunter, and founder of La Remise Objets, she transforms antique lamp bases into unique pieces and, between finds, continues to imagine lifestyle photoshoots. Sunny, ultra-stylish, and mother to Sasha, 5, Alex is 40 and is now expecting her second child, due in October. This pregnancy is a far cry from the label society sometimes attaches to expectant mothers over 35: that of "geriatric pregnancy" (help!). A few weeks before giving birth, she tells us about her journey, her relationship with age, and what these words say — or don't say — about women who become mothers after 35.

Hello Alex, if I say "pregnancy at 40," what does that evoke for you? What do you think of the term "geriatric pregnancy" today? Did your age play a bigger role in this pregnancy compared to the last one? Between the opinions of others, medical monitoring, or remarks from your entourage…

Well, personally, pregnancy at 40 = a much more serene pregnancy than pregnancy at 35. For a whole host of reasons, I am much, much better in my life, in my body, and in my mind at 40 than when I was pregnant with my son. For me, since I am lucky enough not to have any health concerns or other age-related issues (although thanks to the stress of Down syndrome stats after 40...), I mostly live by instinct and don't worry about my age at all. What matters is that it was the right time for me and for our couple to have a second child, and I have no reason to think I'm "old" or anything. That said, clearly, quite a few friends our age who had "their children" earlier mostly told us things like: "good luck" or "you're crazy," rather than "congratulations" when we announced the pregnancy…!

As for the term "geriatric pregnancy": HELP. In any case, medical vocabulary is truly unimaginably outdated and often from another era. A little refresh in their lexicon would be welcome...

Editor's note: By the way, if you're interested in the topic, we explain why we no longer say "geriatric pregnancy" at Boome, and we even launched a petition to have this term removed from medical vocabulary.

What does this pregnancy teach you about yourself? Do you experience it differently because you are 40? Are there strengths, fears, or a serenity that you might not have had a few years earlier?

To reiterate what I said earlier, yes, this is an absolutely more serene period for me, and I am experiencing this pregnancy very differently.

When I was pregnant with my son, it was a surprise pregnancy, so I think there are many things I didn't necessarily process compared to a "planned/scheduled" pregnancy. It was in the middle of many lockdowns, which didn't help with serenity. I was very, very busy and stressed with my job, and I clearly think I wasn't super ready in my head — despite my age — to become a mother. In short, a lot of things were shaken up then, whereas now I feel 1000% more aligned. And this time, I'm having a summer pregnancy, compared to a winter pregnancy last time, and I find that helps immensely in enjoying your body and being more in tune with it, simply because you reveal it more.

Was it longer/harder to get pregnant? Did you implement anything (diet, supplements, exams, etc.)? What about your partner?

No, I was really lucky — and I am acutely aware of this when I see how long, difficult, and sometimes fruitless this journey can be for people in my circle — to get pregnant very easily. I simply had my IUD removed (which seemed like a good start, since I had already gotten pregnant with an IUD for my son!). My partner and I did a Baby Boost course to maximize our chances, and within 2-3 months, it was done!

What message would you like to convey to all those who dream of having a child at or after 40?

It's difficult to convey a single message because journeys are so different. I've heard and am, of course, very sensitive to complicated journeys and heartbreaking stories, so if I come with my little message of "go for it, it's great, it will be easy," I know that it won't be the reality for many couples. BUT, when everything is green on the fertility side, I believe you should absolutely not add psychological barriers due to age. We are bombarded with impossible statistics, but I've never been very fond of numbers anyway. Let's forget the stats and go for it; there's a strong chance everything will go well with a beautiful surprise at the end!

Finally, complete this sentence: "Being pregnant at 40 is..."
Being pregnant at 40 is a joy, a blessing, a brand new experience!