Kenza is one of those content creators who have always been part of the French digital landscape. At 36, this slasher whose crushes, rants, family life, friends and professional development we have been following for over a decade, has put on one more hat: that of mother. A fulfilled mother of 3 years, she tells us about her pregnancy and her new balance, with enthusiasm and frankness. Spoiler: yes, motherhood can ALSO go well :-)
Good reading !
From the desire to have a child to pregnancy
I can't even tell you how long my pregnancy took to become concrete, because it was all very fluid, very instinctive. With Matthieu (the father of her daughter, from whom she is now separated, editor's note), we had been together for years, and we didn't calculate anything from the moment we decided. It was a very natural, very cool period, without pressure, I really didn't have any trouble getting pregnant. I didn't encounter any difficulties, I didn't count, calculate, and I know that this is really not the case for everyone. I'm lucky in that respect, really.
I spent part of my pregnancy confined, so it was a special time, but I had a very good pregnancy, it was so normal for me to be pregnant. I loved ! Besides my body getting rounder, I felt exactly like I feel when I'm not pregnant. No pain, no nausea. So apart from the apprehension of the change that will happen and turn your whole life upside down, it was way too cool. And it lasted… 9 whole months ! I must have been triggered because Azel was where she was [ laughs… ].
Physically, I recovered quite quickly from the birth. It went well, I didn't have any tears or episiotomy, any painful consequences, I didn't suffer at all. I breastfed, and there were times at first that were sometimes uncomfortable, but honestly, it was very bearable. I was just tired, but like all young mothers: the sleepless nights at the beginning are difficult. I also lost a bit of my hair, but it's all very anecdotal. Two weeks later, I was already filming! As we were coming out of a very slow period due to Covid, and I was feeling good, I only wanted to get back to my projects. It's paradoxical because you welcome a baby into your life, into your home, you build everything to have a calm, stable environment, a cocoon, but I was bubbling with the desire to do a thousand things.
Afterwards, with hindsight, I find that the balance, the real one, takes a long time to establish itself. At first, I thought it happened immediately, that everything was very smooth, but then I realized that it was much hotter than I thought to take on this new life. For my relationship, for my work, for everything.
I always heard the mothers around me say, “ It’s all about organization .” It didn't scare me because I'm a very organized person, but I hadn't taken the “unforeseen” parameter into account. A child is non-stop improvisation in fact! You don't manage life with a child at all like you manage your work or your schedule to see your friends. For me, who is a very control freak, it was a real exercise. Ultimately, it wasn't easy to learn to let go when things didn't go the way I planned.
I would say that the balance really arrived after Azel was 9 months old . She began to take her first steps, moving from infant to little girl. I felt more comfortable with my new environment, status, schedule. I really prefer it when children become independent, even if it requires more vigilance. Understanding her emotions better, seeing her assert herself, being able to play music with her in the car and fostering a real bond: it was from these moments that I found it all much simpler.
I'm telling you that but while talking to you, I think about her as a baby, I found it extremely cute and touching and in truth, I miss it, it goes by too quickly [ laughs... ]!