Agnès, 29, is the mother of Lou, almost 1 year old, born through in vitro fertilization after a long journey with assisted reproduction. An influencer close to her community, she has shared every step of her journey, from the wait to motherhood. Her Instagram feed exudes gentleness, but her story is marked by difficult challenges... and despite everything, by extraordinary resilience!
6 years of waiting and disappointed hopes
Agnès always wanted to be a mother. But after stopping the pill, time passed and nothing happened. "The first year, you believe it. You tell yourself it's only a matter of time. Then, after six months, I started asking myself questions. "
She consulted a gynecologist who reassured her without really delving into the matter. But after waiting more than a year and a half, she made an appointment at a fertility center on her own. After some tests, the initial response came: " Everything's fine. " Except that, as the tests and treatments continued, nothing worked.
Agnès and her partner, Dylan, 30, underwent ovarian stimulation, then artificial insemination. " During the first insemination, they told us the sperm count was too low. But we tried anyway. " A tiny bit of hope came with a first positive test... which ended in an early miscarriage.
Doubt sets in. " I started to educate myself, read forums, and understand that infertility wasn't just a woman's issue. I had to have another sperm count. " The verdict was in: inseminations would be useless. Only IVF was an option.
The shock of medically assisted procreation and a pregnancy under high tension
Agnès underwent injections, punctures, and transfers... " It had become my daily life. I felt like I was living for nothing else. " The first IVF was successful, but the pregnancy didn't last.
After several unsuccessful attempts, she consulted a geneticist who identified a problem with folic acid absorption. " No one had told me this before! I changed my treatment and, a few months later, I was pregnant. " But the anxiety persisted: " I was afraid of another tragedy. Every day was a wait. "
Agnès was bleeding heavily, discovered a placental abruption, and spent several months bedridden. " I was doing everything I could to make this pregnancy last. But time was dragging on... It was a period when I could do almost nothing, when every day was a challenge. It was extremely debilitating, both mentally and physically. "
Finally, after an exhausting journey, Lou was born by scheduled cesarean section. " It was both a relief and an immense fear. "
The ordeal of baby blues and reconstruction
Despite this long-awaited birth, the return home was brutal. " I was happy, but I didn't feel like a mother. I looked at her, but I didn't feel that strong, immediate connection. "
The baby blues set in and gradually turned into full-blown postpartum depression. Fatigue, anxiety, the feeling of not being up to it... " I was afraid of being a bad mother. I couldn't sleep, I cried for no reason. I almost regretted it, and I was ashamed of feeling that way after everything I'd been through. "
This depression had a profound impact on his relationship. " Dylan and I were at our wit's end. We almost broke up. The fatigue, the stress, the accumulation of all these challenges completely overwhelmed us. "
Fortunately, she has good support and dares to talk to her midwife. " She told me it was normal. That my journey had been so intense that my body and mind needed time to assimilate. " Gradually, she regained confidence and found her balance. " Breastfeeding helped me create this bond with Lou. I needed to feel useful, to tell myself that I was the one who gave her everything. "
Today, Agnès is doing better. " Postpartum doesn't last three months; it lasts much longer. But you learn to rebuild yourself. " She knows she's had a difficult and significant journey, but also that she's not alone. " We don't talk enough about the scars that assisted reproduction leaves. It's not just a struggle before pregnancy, it's also a struggle afterward. Getting help and being surrounded by others is crucial to getting through it. "
