Ah, libido… This word is so often uttered, but can turn out to be a real mystery for many women. And for you too, perhaps! Because, have you ever wondered why your desire fluctuates constantly? Why it sometimes seems to escape you, without being able to control it? Good news: you are not alone. Moments of stress, hormonal changes, simple fatigue... Women's libido is influenced by a multitude of factors. This article aims to enlighten you, and explain all the reasons behind these variations. We warn you, you are going to become an expert on the subject – go !
What does female libido look like?
Libido is, quite simply, sexual desire. Or rather, think of it as a vital energy, which can manifest itself in different ways in each of us. We often perceive it as the driving force behind our intimate life, because it influences our desire to share moments of pleasure with our partner.
In women, sex hormones play an important role in the proper functioning of the female libido, through:
- the level of estrogen (produced by the ovaries) which promotes vaginal lubrication;
- androgens (male hormones that are produced in small amounts) which encourage sexual arousal.
Men, on the other hand, see their libido more influenced by testosterone.
Female libido is complex and generally multifactorial. Thus, contrary to what one might believe, female desire is not fixed! And it evolves according to:
- our way of life;
- our personal experiences;
- psychological and relational factors;
- certain emotional contexts.
For example, be aware that stress, fatigue or hormonal changes can impact your desire to engage in sexual activity.
The evolution of libido in women
Women's libido is constantly changing, influenced by the periods of life they go through.
During the cycle, ovulation and menstruation
You get it: female libido is strongly linked to fluctuations in sex hormones that occur throughout the menstrual cycle. If you are at the beginning of your cycle (i.e. during your period), you may experience a drop in libido. Or, conversely, a much greater sexual appetite.
Around the 14th day of the cycle, the period of ovulation, we often notice a peak in libido. Yes, nature is well made! The body is then at the peak of its fertility, and our sexual desire follows the movement, becoming more intense. Our hormone production reaches high levels, which titillates our sexual arousal, and fuels a need for intimate connection. This increase in desire is therefore a natural response of the body that promotes reproduction. Even if, of course, it is not always conscious or linked to a pregnancy project.
After ovulation, it is the luteal phase, with a drop in estrogen and an increase in progesterone! Some women may then notice a drop in sexual desire. This lack of libido brings with it the famous premenstrual symptoms such as:
- irritability;
- fatigue;
- pelvic pain.
So, we may feel less like being sexually active. And that's OK: sexual pleasure is not on command and will come back later. So, listen to yourself, always.
During pregnancy
Pregnancy, unsurprisingly, is a time of significant hormonal upheaval. And so, it impacts the female libido in a variety of ways.
Often, the first trimester is not the most opportune time for life as a couple, in particular because:
- nausea;
- vaginal dryness;
- fatigue;
- general discomfort.
The body is doing its best to adapt to its new condition. And we may temporarily feel a certain lack of desire. Add to that the anxiety linked to all these physical changes, and to the arrival of the baby... But, again, don't panic: it's completely normal!
In the second trimester, your intimate relationship may evolve. Some women then notice a boost in libido. The ups and downs of the first three months are over, you feel in good shape. Sexual desire may even become more intense due to an increase in blood flow to the vagina and more abundant vaginal secretion.
Then finally comes the third trimester, the final stretch! Some will feel fulfilled, eager for intimacy. Others will notice a total lack of libido, because they are too encumbered by their baby – or too tired. Still others will be concerned about the baby's safety and physical comfort. All of this influences the desire to have sex or not.
During menopause
Menopause marks a major transition in many women's sex lives. During this time, hormone levels (estrogen and progesterone) drop significantly. These hormonal imbalances can lead to a decrease in libido, and some unnecessary symptoms such as:
- hot flashes;
- vaginal dryness.
In short, enough to make sexual intercourse potentially uncomfortable, even painful.
However, who said that menopause meant the end of a prosperous sex life? Not us! Because even if some women notice a decrease, or even an absence of sexual desire... Others experience this period as a new form of freedom. Bye bye , concerns related to hormonal contraceptives. They can finally explore their sexuality with complete peace of mind. And this can translate into a boost in libido.
What can cause a woman's libido to drop?
There are many different factors that can cause a woman to have a low libido. Here are the most common ones.
1. Stress and fatigue
Unsurprisingly, fatigue and stress are not the best allies of women's libido. And can affect it more or less strongly.
It's hard to feel sexual desire when you're stressed because of:
- problems at work;
- of personal worries;
- family responsibilities.
A lot of mental overload, little relaxation: in short, nothing that allows us to concentrate on certain sensations of pleasure.
Physical fatigue, on the other hand, can drain the energy needed for good sexual health. Whether it's linked to a lack of sleep or a busy schedule, it can affect our mood. And therefore the desire to share intimate moments with our partner.
2. Hormonal treatments and disorders
As you can see, hormones play a central role in regulating libido. Consequently, a lack of hormonal balance can have a direct impact on sexual desire. Let's also remember that some hormonal contraceptives, such as the pill, can sometimes reduce sexual desire.
Some medical treatments can also affect libido. For example:
- antidepressants;
- thyroid treatments;
- certain blood pressure medications.
All of these tracks can thus reduce libido.
3. Excessive alcohol or drug use
Unsurprisingly, alcohol and drugs are bad for the libido. Especially when consumed excessively.
Alcohol can:
- affect the central nervous system;
- reduce our sensitivity;
- make it more difficult to become aroused and achieve orgasm.
Recreational drugs can also have adverse effects on libido, as they can disrupt hormonal balance and normal brain function. They lead to a decrease in sexual desire, as well as dysfunctional disorders:
- erection problems in men;
- lack of lubrication in women.
4. Painful or unsatisfactory intercourse
There are a number of reasons why intercourse can cause pain:
- vaginal dryness;
- infection ;
- endometriosis ;
- physical trauma.
So, if making love becomes a source of pain, it is normal to see your desire decrease significantly.
But we can also feel a lack of sexual satisfaction because of:
- of incompatibility with the partner;
- from a lack of communication;
- difficulty reaching orgasm (even if it is not necessary to have pleasure).
We can then feel “obliged”, and we have less desire. We thus gradually lose interest in sex.
5. Sexual disorders or trauma
If you have experienced sexual dysfunction or a history of sexual trauma, it can have a profound and lasting impact on your libido. Whether it’s sexual violence, coercion, or abuse… The psychological scars you carry can prevent you from being fulfilled in your sex life.
These wounds do not necessarily involve violence: it is enough to have had repeated negative sexual experiences to feel a drop in libido. And with that, shame, guilt and a negative body image.
6. Diseases
Libido can also be impacted by certain illnesses such as:
- hypothyroidism;
- depression;
- diabetes;
- cardiovascular diseases;
- autoimmune diseases.
These cause physiological changes, sometimes intense, which can make sexual intercourse less pleasant or even more difficult.
In short, women's libido is far from being an exact science. It changes according to the periods we go through, our hormonal fluctuations, and our psychological state of health. If you feel that your sexual health is being compromised, know that it is not inevitable: consult a health professional (general practitioner, sexual counselors, etc.) without delay. And together you will find the right solutions to make peace with your female pleasure.
