Choosing the sex of your child: is it possible?

What if you could choose the sex of your future child? This is a question that intrigues as much as it disturbs. And yes, it's not a new thing: this dream of control fascinates parents – all over the world. Between natural methods, dietary tips, and scientific advances, the promises are numerous. But what is the reality? Because, behind these practices, certain ethical and societal issues challenge our certainties. So, can we really influence destiny, or should we accept the unpredictable? We reflect with you on this (vast) subject, its limits, and its controversies. Because we don't know about you, but we… We're passionate about it! Let's go.

Motivations and promises of methods for choosing sex

The desire to choose the sex of one's child raises much more than a simple matter of preference. It reflects expectations, ideals, and sometimes societal pressures. In short, challenges that certain methods could address.

Personal and cultural reasons

It's a fact: many parents have sex preferences for their children. However, few admit it, as the subject remains taboo and difficult to discuss. "The important thing is that they are healthy, right?" one might retort. Yes, of course. No mother, no father wants their baby to be born sick. That's stating the obvious. But despite everything, the issue of sex remains paramount in some families.

The reasons for this? They are often personal. Sometimes, even, difficult for those who experience them to understand. Why do we really want this girl or this boy? Is it to reproduce a family pattern? Or, on the contrary, to (re)build oneself against it? Are we trying to satisfy a personal dream? Does our religion consider the boy a major family support?

Some, for example, seek a certain psychological balance within their family unit. Because, it should be noted, with the famous "king's choice" scheme of "2 children: one girl, one boy," parents can be under pressure to meet this societal expectation. Raising both sexes would be perceived as a more fulfilling experience. And would allow them to discover several facets of parenthood.

Other parents also face the "last chance" challenge. They have 2 girls or 2 boys and would dream of the last one being of the opposite sex. It's now or never, even if the risks are significant (yes, a 1 in 2 chance of succeeding!)

In short, the issues surrounding the subject are numerous, important… But not necessarily without answers.

 

Natural and scientific methods

Choosing the sex of one's child is an idea that is not new. And, according to some health professionals, it is entirely possible. How? Primarily through dietary choices. It's hard, in fact, to discuss the subject without thinking of the famous Dr. Papa and his method, which is (almost) no longer presented. For the simple reason that it boasts an 80% success rate.

The concept is simple: according to him, the future mother's diet can influence the progression of X (for a girl) and Y (for a boy) sperm.

Do you want a little girl? Favor a diet rich in calcium and magnesium. Go heavy on dairy products and eggs (but beware, no cheese). Add fresh fruit to your plates. On the other hand, no coffee, tea, or chocolate.

Do you prefer a boy? Let's go for a diet rich in sodium and potassium. Yes to tea, yes to coffee. Allow yourself all vegetables… Except green ones.

Does that seem far-fetched to you? Not so much. Because what's at stake here is not limited to what is (or isn't) on the daily menu. Diet plays an important role in the acidity of the vagina. And the vagina is acidic by nature. By favoring one diet over another, one could modify its acidity to select the sperm of one's choice.

This method is not the only one that could influence the sex of children. Others exist, such as the idea of favoring diets rich in saturated animal fats to boost one's chances of having a boy. Versus a carbohydrate-oriented diet for a little girl.

Did you know about the Shettles method? Here, it is based on the timing of sexual intercourse… in relation to ovulation. If you want a boy, it's better to try to conceive after ovulation. Because Y chromosome-carrying sperm are faster but less resistant than X sperm.

Finally, certain medical techniques, such as preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD), allow for sex selection in the laboratory. But these are strictly reserved for medical reasons, to avoid sex-linked diseases. They therefore remain inaccessible to the general public.

Do you have questions about your ovulation? Do you find it difficult to anticipate each month? We tell you everything in our article How to know if you are ovulating.

The limits and controversies surrounding these methods

Behind these methods, limitations emerge. And with many controversies. Here's a quick summary of what their detractors think.

Real effectiveness: uncertain results

All these techniques are very popular with the public. Many women have, for example, tested Dr. Papa's method. And would have "obtained" the desired sex.

But these natural methods are not to everyone's liking – and even less so for some doctors, who decry them as urban legends, or even scandals. Firstly, because the results remain uncertain, due to a lack of scientific evidence. Some experts, like Dr. Olivier Marpeau, insist that the act of conception remains largely random. And encourage us to keep in mind that biological variables remain numerous.

The only 100% effective method, according to him, remains PGD. But, let's remember, it is strictly regulated in France. This is not necessarily the case in other countries, like the United States, which offer it to the wealthiest couples (because, not surprisingly, it is extremely expensive).

Ethical and societal controversies

And if France prohibits this type of practice, it is for a societal reason. To what extent is choosing the sex of one's child ethical? This question can raise much deeper moral questions. In some countries, such as India and China, a cultural preference for boys has led to significant gender imbalances. In India, for example, the practice of selective abortions (although prohibited since 1994) has wreaked havoc on the ratio of the two sexes. In 2011, there were 914 girls for every 1000 boys under 6 years old.

In China, the one-child policy also exacerbated this preference for boys for over 35 years. In the early 2000s, there were 120 boys for every 100 girls.

Consequences? Men struggle to find partners. Increased social tensions. And increased trafficking of women in some regions of the country.

Last controversial point: would choosing the sex of one's child encourage a certain slide towards eugenics? Authorizing sex selection, does that risk opening the door to other forms of "selection" of our children's characteristics? Parental control could then evolve towards more advanced personalization. Where the child would become a consumer product.

Do you want to put all the chances on your side to conceive? Our fertility supplements are here to support you.

Physical and psychological risks

But the detractors of these methods are not content with evoking certain ethical and societal boundaries. They remind us that, first and foremost, they present risks for future mothers who experiment with them. Physical and psychological risks. Risks of deficiencies. And financial risks. Because limiting oneself to certain eating habits exposes one's body to a potential lack of nutrients and vitamins. Which can pose a problem for the mother-to-be.

This is why some doctors advise their patients to avoid such methods. Because, according to them, they will not boost their chances of having a little girl or a little boy. On the other hand, the chances of becoming deficient, anemic, or simply in poor health… Yes, they will. They could thus lead to a decrease in fertility. And pregnant women could put themselves in bad conditions from the beginning of their pregnancy. They must, therefore, above all, eat well and hydrate well to stay healthy.

They finally remind us that the sex of the child is determined as soon as fertilization has occurred. Therefore, there is no point in using any method once the pregnancy test is positive.

So, what do we think about all this? Whether you're for or against… One thing is certain: choosing the sex of one's child raises fascinating questions, both scientifically and societally. Between promises, limits, and ethical implications, everyone is invited to reflect on what the subject means to them. So, in other words, to their own vision of parenthood. And to the freedom to explore their own answers.

Sources:

• Demography in India: gender imbalance is a concern, Genethique.org
• The imbalance of births between boys and girls in Asia, La Jaune et la Rouge
• Does diet allow you to choose the sex of your child?, France Culture, Radio France
• Diet and sex of the child, Vidal
• Choosing the sex of your child? Impossible! We explain why, Franceinfo